Wow, it's been a while since I talked about movies here. Wait...oh, I never have, not on this blog. Let's change that!
Warhammer 40,000...time for a personal admission. I don't actually play Warhammer (of any kind) anymore, and haven't bought any of the models in years, but they were a fixation of mine for a couple years in high school, something I picked up from a few friends. Eventually, when I started having to pay for my own stuff rather than leaching cash from my mother, the combined price of the models, the paints, the glue, the big table in the garage I'd converted into a battlefield, the toolboxes to hold everything and so on got to be EXTREMELY prohibitive, so I had to kick the habit - and honestly, I've never really felt tempted to go back. But various other media spinoffs from the 40k universe have kept me interested in the fiction behind the products - in particular Relic's excellent
Dawn of War RTS games on PC, which remain the only strategy titles capable of tearing me away from
Command & Conquer. Actually, I think the best way to appreciate 40k is through the side projects, since you get the cool visuals, pleasingly OTT dialogue and genuinely intriguing stories without having to spend the GDP of a developing nation on plastic men you'll have to assemble yourself. So when I heard from...somewhere...there was a CG movie on the way, I got pretty interested, pretty fast.
You see shoulderpads that big, you know you're in safe hands.
Or the 1980s.
ULTRAMARINES, to the surprise of absolutely no-one, chooses to focus on the power-armoured posterboys of the 40k universe, the Space Marines - superhuman warrior-monks tasked with defending the widespread and decaying human race of the 41st millennium from the aliens, mutants and heretics that threaten their existence. More specifically, it centres on a squad from the Ultramarines chapter, the blue-with-yellow-trim guys that seem to always be chosen above all other chapters when Games Workshop's photography guys want to take pretty pictures for the front of boxes and whatnot. In comparison to the viking-like Space Wolves or the section-8'd Blood Angels, these guys are the by-the-book sticklers who believe in the absolute letter of the law - something which tends to make them fairly unpopular amongst 40k players, but...well, they make the powder-blue armour look cool, so there. Nyah.
Plot specifics: a lone squad of the Ultramarines 2nd company, Ultima Squad - formed primarily of arrogant rookies and under the command of the venerable Captain Severus (Terence 'Kneel Before Zod!' Stamp) - are en-route to the planet Mithron, a largely-barren desert world holding only one site of real importance, an Imperial Shrine containing some sort of holy relic. This site is guarded at all times by a full hundred-man company of marines from the Imperial Fists chapter - so what kind of menace could possibly move them to send out a distress signal? And why aren't they responding to the hailing frequencies? As Ultima Squad make planetfall and begin recon operations, it soon becomes clear that the hand of Chaos has been at work here, through its daemon hordes and twisted traitorous marines...all they can do is check for survivors, and pray they can outlast their enemies until extraction is available.
"Yeah, it's a bit of a fixer-upper, but once we get some chairs in here to
go with my massive flag, it'll feel just like home, sir..."
Being a British production by a newly-formed independent studio, I wasn't expecting Pixar-quality visuals from Ultramarines...and I was right to do so. The more desert-based environments look fairly flat and dull, and the marines' unhelmeted faces have that rubbery-waxwork 'uncanny valley' look down pat. That said, a few iffy animations notwithstanding it's comparable to New Captain Scarlet, and that's something to be proud of. There are still some stand-out sequences, too - the tracking shots of the marines' Battle Barge spaceship in orbit are lovely, and there's a smartly-choreographed practice sword-fight between Severus and hero-of-the-hour Proteus (Sean Pertwee, who I really should recognise easier since he was in the really good Dog Soldiers).
The most curious thing about the whole film is that, despite being based around a franchise known for epic battles and starring a bunch of scarred manly-men, each wearing about half a truck's worth of steel plating on their shoulders alone, it's not an action movie - it's a horror movie. Much of the first act is spent with Ultima Squad trekking slowly across Mithron's dusty plains, getting unnerved by indistinct shadows darting by in the distance and hearing disembodied voices whispering on the wind...it's all very effective if hardly inspired, though after ten minutes you do rather wish the film would pick up the pace; there's a little too many lingering POV shots of Proteus and chums just staring off at clouds whilst ominous music plays. There's also a few 'WTF' moments where the squad amble across rickety wooden bridges successfully, even though there's no possible way guys THAT big would do anything but fall straight through the planks if this were to be attempted in real life. Still, the mood is set up well enough, there's good jump moments, the violence is at least on a par with the Dawn of War games (which means it doesn't dick around; heads are imploded, blood splatters thickly, and chainsaw blades cut through torsos with the stubborn resistance of a steak knife through...well...steak), and there is of course a last-reel twist in the tale which is just about clever enough to fool the average viewer. But not me. Because I'm clever.
"NO! Sergeant Kryon asked for LAVENDER-scented candles for his afternoon bath!"
Pacing issues notwithstanding, the script's very well done. The marines all speak in that overly-articulate, somewhat-hammy style you'd expect from a bunch of monks with guns (it's what they are, really) without anyone trying to sneak in some horrible attempts at ironic wit, which would just kill the mood altogether. All the details are faithful to the 40k universe, even the little touches like the prayers uttered by the Tech-Priest servitors to bless the weapons and armour of the marines before they head into battle. At the same time, though, you never feel like you're being battered upside the head with a big 'Warhammer For Dummies' book and getting drowned in mythology. All credit to writer Dan Abnett for that; seeing as how this is basically a fan project, it was always at risk of becoming one big, congealed blob of fan-wank, a fate he's managed to skilfully avoid.
The cast appears to be entirely English, or at least British, which I love; there's something pleasingly quaint about these characters - who look even more like the American alpha-male ideal than the steroid-riddled charisma vacuums found in anything made by Epic Games - all talking like they're from the West Midlands. It's like the Space-SAS. Pertwee does a great job with hero-boy Proteus, though the character's lack of distincitve traits does leave him somewhat overshadowed by Severus and the unit's Apothecary (medic, basically) - voiced by one Steven Waddington, giving the man the kind of world-weary cynicism and sarcasm that I've come to know and love from any good sci-fi sawbones. And whoever got John Hurt aboard the project deserves a slap on the back, as not only does his scratchy, wizened voice really work wonders for Chaplain Carnak, but he delivers the opening narration with aplomb - something a less-venerable voice would struggle with. "It is the 41st millennium, and there is only War" etc. Quite a mouthful. Props also to Adam Harvey for a more-or-less perfect score; understated when needed, dramatic swells when the gunfire starts, and big Gregorian choirs to reinforce the epic moments.
On the whole, Ultramarines is flawed but largely successful. Its appeal to audiences beyond existing 40k fans is probably limited, thanks to the hard sci-fi subject matter and the low-budget production values, but it's clearly a labour of love, and a promising beginning for what will hopefully be a series of similar movies. Now, who at Codex Pictures do I have to send muffins to for an appearance by the Necrons in the next one...?
Final Score: 7.5/10
After 30 years of losing to He-Man, Skeletor was taking this shit seriously now.
ULTRAMARINES is available as a mail-order exclusive direct from Codex Pictures. Check their official site for details.
