Comic Musing: The SECRET WARS Retrospective Post (Updated)

Doom's signalling for the Cosmic RKO!

So!  Secret Wars, then.  Since I finally wrapped up my exhaustive preview blog, Marvel's big summer event lurched into life...and kept lurching, and still is lurching even as summer becomes a hazy memory.  What was once an 8-issue series (not the 12-issue one I somehow thought it was...sorry) has become 9-issues long, and will likely keep rolling through to December at this rate, even as most books reset under the 'All-New All-Different' banner and go back to a non-Battleworld reality.

That said, most of the SW tie-in books have either wrapped up or will do so over the course of October, and given how much time and money I've sunk into them, I feel obliged to share some final thoughts on those I've read.  This post should be considered a work-in-progress, and will be expanded as more series conclude. (Updated on 26/10/15)

Comic Musing: Craig's SECRET WARS Series-by-Series Thoughtlog (Updated)

This is what it's like when worlds COLLIIIIIIIIIDE

*Powerman 5000 continues*

By now you'll have heard the news that Marvel Comics are - 

...oh, you didn't hear it because you don't pay attention to comics because you, quite rightly, have better things to do with your time?  Fair enough.

Uh, so you may or may not have heard that from this coming May onwards, Marvel Comics are once again hosting a Secret Wars event series, taking the same name from a decades-old multi-title crossover that threw an abundance of heroes and villains from all walks of life onto an unfamiliar world, and left them to wreck each others' shit for the amusement of a cosmic jackass.  It was pretty good fun, Spider-Man got his black suit out of it, there was a whole mess of toys released, and if you're a reader of a certain age you probably remember it fondly.

Secret Wars 2015 has almost nothing to do with that, and given that it's unavoidable, it's high time I sorted out my thoughts on its ideas and parts.

Opinion Blog: The Worst Bosses of my Gaming Life

 An all-too-familiar sight for Teen Me.

Look, I love games.  Of course I do.  My recent weeknights have been spent alternating between Hyrule Warriors, Bayonetta 2, Lego Batman 3 and a return to BioShock 2 (in case you were wondering why updates are so infrequent).  Real life is dull and exhausting and full of rules nobody can explain but must all be followed at all times.  Games are lively, untiring and make their rules plain.

Even so, if there's anything more guaranteed to sour my mood than a BOSS FIGHT~, it's...probably my actual job, honestly, but still, bosses.  A good boss can be many things: that one last hurdle before the triumph of the end credits, a despicable sod you can't wait to pummel, the final exam for all the tricks you've learned in the hours before.  Sadly, it's all too easy for none of these ideas to stick and you end up with a bad boss, one whose presence cripples the game around it rather than enhancing it.  We've all got our personal hall of shame.  Here's mine.

Craig's Token Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase 3 Thought Post

 Love the reactions in this shot.  Downey's smug bow, Evans' mildly

embarassed aw-shucks wave, and Boseman all 'OMG OMG IS THIS REAL??'.

So, unless you live under a rock, or simply don't care about this kind of thing, you've likely already heard what was revealed at Marvel Studio's exclusive-attendance press event last week.  The entirety of 'phase 3', the next solid block of films taking place within the universe defined by The Avengers has been charted, and so now we know every step on the path to cinema's current greatest heroes facing their ultimate - final? - battle.

Obviously, this is big news, and hundreds of other sites have been scraping over the details, running any number of rumours to try and gain hits.  Me, I'm late to the party, and I sure as hell don't have any inside sources to tantalize you with...but I slacked off and let this blog rot during October, and it's high time that changed.  At least this is something I'm enthusiastic about, so the writing should come easy.

Further Adventures of Minimate Nina, part четыре: A Day Unlike Any Other

Nighttime, at a news office on the outskirts of the city...

(Don't ask which city.  There is only one.  The city.)

Nina:  Porn, porn, angry editorial about some spider-guy, weather forecast, porn, sports...ugh.

And this chair is tiny and really cramping my butt.  Guess it was a long shot

to expect this rag to have anything on new organised crime outfits...

though maybe I can break into the CIA from here - 

SUDDENLY THE POWER CUTS!

Nina:  This isn't going to be the good kind of surprise, is it?

???:  Miss Williams!  On the authority of SHIELD, you are under arrest!  Come out of the 

building with your hands empty and there won't be any trouble!

Iron Man:  You don't really expect her to go for that, do ya?

Captain America:  No, not really.  That's why you're all here.

AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!

Click through for more.

Comic Musing: AVENGERS: ENDLESS WARTIME

Gloomy cover, oft-gloomy book.

If there's one thing I cannot stand about comics, it's the term 'graphic novel'.

Oh, I get what it's meant to be used for, don't get me wrong: it's to illustrate the difference between the typical comic book series (with individual 20+ page installments delivered monthly, each serving as a chapter of a larger book) and a full story told in one single volume.  It's just that the term has been co-opted by snobbish types who can't bear to admit they once read "one of the funnybooks" and actually liked it.  "Oh yes, I have read that GRAPHIC NOVEL by mister Moore, it was rather enjoyable - what?  Comics?  Pfah, no, dear boy, I never read COMICS..."  Say that last sentence in your best Mark Kermode voice for maximum impact.

Anyway, that nitpick aside, graphic novels (grrrr) are something that Marvel has been kind of ignoring for the past few years.  DC, on the other hand, have had a pretty good grasp on what the format can do - namely attract a different audience, the kind of people who have a passing interest in the characters and worlds found in comics but lack the patience or obsessiveness to throw themselves into the deep end with an ongoing series.  Stuff like the Earth One Batman and Superman stories have been pretty successful examples of this, but with the debut effort of their new OGN line, Marvel are perhaps being more ambitious; instead of retelling the beginnings of one of their iconic heroes, writer Warren Ellis and artist Mike McKone choose to drop the reader into a very of-the-moment universe, with a team of already-established characters, and trust that you'll be able to keep up with the self-contained story.  Does the gamble work?  Read on to find out! (or to save you some time - yes, it does)

Film Reaction: IRON MAN 3

Knowing all too well the sight of Pepper's 'bedroom hair',

Tony's suits decide to step out for a late lunch and give the couple some room.

 

 

We're really up to the third Iron Man film already?  Wow.  I don't really know how to feel about that; on the one hand, it still feels like barely any time at all since I was astounded to hear that the first would actually become a reality, so this crap is starting to make me feel really old.  But on the other hand, it's testament to the bold (but well-deserved) confidence that Marvel Studios have had with their multi-property 'Avengers Series' movies to date, and I love the fact that they've got so sure a handle on everything about their little universe right now.  Plus of course, Iron Man was and is my nostalgic favourite amongst all superheroes, for admittedly simple reasons - I'd already fallen for both the '80s Transformers series and '90s Spider-Man series before I even knew Tony Stark had his own show, and man, getting Marvel Universe action AND robots at the same time?  Mana from heaven for Junior Craig.  Iron Man 1 remains to this day one of my all-time favourite movies - I gladly forgive its somewhat flimsy 3rd act for how deftly it flies through the preceding 70 minutes, and not since Raimi's Spider-Man had any single comic book movie feel so right, like every single part and piece was operating at full capacity with nary a hint of strain.  And Iron Man 2 was, well, it was alright.  Fun, inoffensive, its greatest crime being...laziness?  3 years on, it seems pretty clear that the sequel was something of a rushed job, made purely since the first had done such good business that Marvel couldn't pass up the chance of lightning striking twice, and though it set up a few elements that bore fruit in Avengers (Assemble) I expect there was already a plan to put those pieces in motion during Thor and Captain America.  Even so, I can't bring myself to hate a movie that realised armour-in-a-suitcase.

 

But all of that's behind us now anyway, since it's time for 'Phase 2', with the 3rd (last?) solo outing for Tony Stark and his tin can, facing off against his most sinister enemy yet - that unnamed, unknowable force that prevents the 3rd movie in any series living up to its predecessors!

 

Don't worry though, he kicks its ass.  (POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOLLOW)

Night Rhodes

Boredom at night leads to much messing around with a lamp in order to make 'stylish; shots of new War Machine figure.  That's all, really.

I think those turned out pretty well.  Hopefully I'll get the chance to do something more in-depth with this guy in future posts.