Comic Musing: The SECRET WARS Retrospective Post (Updated)

Doom's signalling for the Cosmic RKO!

So!  Secret Wars, then.  Since I finally wrapped up my exhaustive preview blog, Marvel's big summer event lurched into life...and kept lurching, and still is lurching even as summer becomes a hazy memory.  What was once an 8-issue series (not the 12-issue one I somehow thought it was...sorry) has become 9-issues long, and will likely keep rolling through to December at this rate, even as most books reset under the 'All-New All-Different' banner and go back to a non-Battleworld reality.

That said, most of the SW tie-in books have either wrapped up or will do so over the course of October, and given how much time and money I've sunk into them, I feel obliged to share some final thoughts on those I've read.  This post should be considered a work-in-progress, and will be expanded as more series conclude. (Updated on 26/10/15)

Comic Musing: JUDGE DREDD: DARK JUSTICE

Judge Death anxiously awaits the dawn of 3D comics,

so he can poke out your eyes with his gross fingernails.

Oh hey, it's another infrequent update.  Hiya!  Hope you're keeping well.

Anyways - comics.  Secret Wars, which I've gone over before, is now well-underway, and it's been taking up a considerable chunk of my attention...not to mention my wallet.  But it's not the be-all end-all of my funnybook affections - in particular, I'll always have time for some properly British weirdness from 2000AD, the weekly anthology book/deliverer of Betelguesian THRILL-POWER (delete as apt) which the uninitiated would best recognise as home of Judge Dredd, fascistic future policeman.  The majority of great comic talents from this damp little island, on both the writing and art sides, earned their stripes in 2000AD before applying for work with the big American publishers - and like bands that began underground or pro wrestlers coming from the independent circuit, it's frequently their 2000AD work that shows them at their most ingenious and daring.

...having said that, the creators at play on Dark Justice - a Dredd story first serialised in 2000AD Progs 2015 and 1912 to 1921, and now available as a handsome hardcover collection - don't fit that mould.  John Wagner created Dredd with Carlos Ezquerra back in 1977 and has stuck with that world, and the company that features it, ever since, while Greg Staples has lent his masterfully moody painting many comics publishers, Magic: The Gathering cards, film concept work, you name it.  This isn't the work of developing talent, it's pros at the top of their game.

It is also a story about lisping zombie policemen murdering people on a spaceship.  You need a review beyond that?  Really?  Fine, let's dig into the necrotic flesh a little deeper.

Comic Musing: Craig's SECRET WARS Series-by-Series Thoughtlog (Updated)

This is what it's like when worlds COLLIIIIIIIIIDE

*Powerman 5000 continues*

By now you'll have heard the news that Marvel Comics are - 

...oh, you didn't hear it because you don't pay attention to comics because you, quite rightly, have better things to do with your time?  Fair enough.

Uh, so you may or may not have heard that from this coming May onwards, Marvel Comics are once again hosting a Secret Wars event series, taking the same name from a decades-old multi-title crossover that threw an abundance of heroes and villains from all walks of life onto an unfamiliar world, and left them to wreck each others' shit for the amusement of a cosmic jackass.  It was pretty good fun, Spider-Man got his black suit out of it, there was a whole mess of toys released, and if you're a reader of a certain age you probably remember it fondly.

Secret Wars 2015 has almost nothing to do with that, and given that it's unavoidable, it's high time I sorted out my thoughts on its ideas and parts.

Craig's Token Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase 3 Thought Post

 Love the reactions in this shot.  Downey's smug bow, Evans' mildly

embarassed aw-shucks wave, and Boseman all 'OMG OMG IS THIS REAL??'.

So, unless you live under a rock, or simply don't care about this kind of thing, you've likely already heard what was revealed at Marvel Studio's exclusive-attendance press event last week.  The entirety of 'phase 3', the next solid block of films taking place within the universe defined by The Avengers has been charted, and so now we know every step on the path to cinema's current greatest heroes facing their ultimate - final? - battle.

Obviously, this is big news, and hundreds of other sites have been scraping over the details, running any number of rumours to try and gain hits.  Me, I'm late to the party, and I sure as hell don't have any inside sources to tantalize you with...but I slacked off and let this blog rot during October, and it's high time that changed.  At least this is something I'm enthusiastic about, so the writing should come easy.

Further Adventures of Minimate Nina, part четыре: A Day Unlike Any Other

Nighttime, at a news office on the outskirts of the city...

(Don't ask which city.  There is only one.  The city.)

Nina:  Porn, porn, angry editorial about some spider-guy, weather forecast, porn, sports...ugh.

And this chair is tiny and really cramping my butt.  Guess it was a long shot

to expect this rag to have anything on new organised crime outfits...

though maybe I can break into the CIA from here - 

SUDDENLY THE POWER CUTS!

Nina:  This isn't going to be the good kind of surprise, is it?

???:  Miss Williams!  On the authority of SHIELD, you are under arrest!  Come out of the 

building with your hands empty and there won't be any trouble!

Iron Man:  You don't really expect her to go for that, do ya?

Captain America:  No, not really.  That's why you're all here.

AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!

Click through for more.

Film Reaction: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

 It's weird that this film has so many posters,

yet none of them feel like 'THE' poster, y'know?

The Amazing Spider-Man was a dull, routine, soulless cash-grab, a mercenary movie built purely to retain publishing rights to its title character, devoid of any artistic spark for fear of individual creativity somehow getting in the way of franchise longevity.  I hated it like fire, and in the same year that gave us The Dark Knight Rises it somehow made Nolan's nadir look good by comparison.  Unfortunately, ol' Web-Head is too popular to die, so the thing still made money, and now the same creative team are back for round 2, with the 'help' of two of the men who inflicted Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Star Trek Into Darkness upon us.

Look on the bright side, though: with that all in mind, who's gonna go into this one with hopes high enough to be savagely dashed upon the rocks of reality?  Forewarned is forearmed.

Film Reaction: CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

 Never judge a film by its poster.

Or at least don't judge this film by this poster 'cause this poster's very bleh.

One of the more interesting points on the business side of this whole 'Marvel Cinematic Universe' shebang is how The Avengers' success impacts the subsequent films; does co-starring in the big climactic team-up increase awareness and box-office muscle appreciably for the non-Iron Man heroes?  I'd imagine that's something Marvel Studios are banking on.  While I consider Captain America: The First Avenger to be a great film - in fact, it's almost a perfect film, insofar as it's the best possible movie that could be made out of both Cap's origin story and his delivery into the modern world - it only did okay at the box office for one reason or another, not much more or less than The Incredible Hulk (which you'll notice has yet to have a sequel mentioned).

Judging from what I've read, this paid off with Thor: The Dark World, which comfortably outgrossed its predecessor even after opening in the tail end of Autumn.  So will the same hold true for The Winter Soldier, which with Black Widow in a featured role and much SHIELD shenanigans is doubling down on residual Avengers love?

I certainly hope so, because once again the Sentinel of Liberty has delivered a hell of a movie.

Comic Musing: SUPERMAN/WONDER WOMAN, BLACK WIDOW & Others

Really wish DC would have some sort of cover bar

so that these all look like a matching set.

It's certainly been long enough since my last rambling comic review post, and I haven't exactly been letting my reading slip since then, so there's more than a few books I'd like to talk about.  For the sake of keeping things brief, I'll stick with four for now.  Firstly, my muddled thoughts regarding DC's divisive Superman/Wonder Woman series, which has just released its fifth issue this month, and then some looks at three of the new start-up series from the All-New Minty Fresh Marvel NOW! initiative, namely Black Widow, X-Force and Ms. Marvel.

WARNING:  The following post discusses - and contain spoilers for - issues 1-5 of Superman/Wonder Woman, issues 1-3 of Black Widow and issue 1 of both X-Force and Ms. Marvel.  Turn back now if you're sensitive, y'big wuss.

Toy Review: Play Arts Kai Faora-Ul

 Not a photo of mine.

You can probably guess by the lack of awfulness.

To start, hey look, my first post of 2014!  Hope everyone had a safe New Year's.

Anyway - as time passes, I find myself growing more and more irritated with Man of Steel, as seems to be the prevailing feeling amongst interweb dorks like myself.  This is the big problem with the tone and aesthetic that Christopher Nolan has bequeathed to Warner Bros.' nascent DC cinematic universe: when every character and place is presented as cold, severe and super-duper-serious it prompts the audience's thoughts to linger on the ideas and questions raised by the story rather than just relax and let oneself be moved by the flow of the film.  That's fine if you've got a tight grip on the tale and know exactly what points you want to get across, but if you don't - if the questions you're raising clash with the overall 'point' of the film, or if you're simply not elaborating them well enough - then all you're doing is giving viewers more time to chew over the film's problems.  And hoo boy did MoS have hefty problems delivering its themes.

Despite that, I still bought the damn blu-ray just so I could gawk at Faora-Ul in glorious HD.  That plus the hilarious sight of Michael Shannon's misshapen beanpole body being pushed through military-grade workouts in the special features was worth the asking price.  Thus my Faora crush remains strong, albeit ill-served by the movie's merchandising.  Sadly there's still no sign of a Hot Toys 12" $200+ wallet-killer fig of the lady (I remain hopeful - HT's Roadblock figure still hasn't been released and G.I. Joe 2 came out last March) and Mattel did their usual hopeless job on the main toyline, resulting in this disappointment with its cartoon face, borked joints and oddly squat physique.  Luckily, though, DC's licensing deal with Square Enix covers both comics and movie properties, and so the MoS subline of the Play Arts Kai range has stepped up to fill the void and maybe give Faora the toy she deserves.

Film Reaction: THOR: THE DARK WORLD

"Darling, keep me safe from the floating people with no legs!"

And so onwards rolls the Marvel juggernaut (uh, not the Marvel character Juggernaut, although that dude does roll on quite a bit) as, after Iron Man 3 basically killed summer for every other movie this year, the coming of winter brings with it the return of the mighty Odinson, he of magic hammer, enviable hair and crazy popular evil sibling.  While there's only been one prior Thor movie, the use of Loki as the main villain in The Avengers made that film quite organically the 'step 2' of the brothers' story, and leaves The Dark World with a very different starting point.  Even so, it still has to tie things up neatly from its predecessor and succeed in being a superior film, so, how did it do?  Read on, mortals.

Now Playing: BATMAN ARKHAM ORIGINS

 The continuing adventures of the World's Grumpiest Dad.

Released October 26, 2013

Developed by Warner Bros. Games Montreal.

Published by Warner Bros. Interactive.

Available on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and Wii U (forthcoming).

Version played: PlayStation 3.

Oh, Batman.  No matter how much mud I sling your way for your deeply tiresome obsession with things being 'dark', your horrible fanbase full of the absolute worst of the internet, and your irritating ubiquity that threatens to blot out all other DC heroes like the shadow of Unicron falling o'er that poor bunch of non-Autobot robot people at the start of Transformers: The Movie, I still can't quit you.  You're like a really mangy cat.  For every bit of roadkill you drag into my house and throw up on my shoes (see The Dark Knight Rises or the current 'Zero Year' comics that are dedicating 12 whole months to telling us that, yes, his parents are still in fact dead) you still do something that makes me reconsider putting you up for adoption/throwing you in a dumpster far away from here.  In recent years, those 'somethings' have tended to be the Arkham Insert Noun games from Rocksteady, which were quite rightly praised for giving players the sensation of 'being' Batman to a tee and just being really good Metroid-y puzzle adventures with a great combat system everyone else has tried copying.

The combination of 'properly good game' and 'Batman is in it' propelled both Asylum and the bigger, more ambitious City to crazy sales numbers, which made it deeply unsurprising that Warners chose to outsource the engine and art assets to another developer so they could churn out a third game super-quick and franchise the hell out of the Arkham name.  Whether or not this works is, at time of writing, up in the air; the transparency of this game as a cash-grab, I think, will likely hurt its numbers a bit.  But that's not really what I'm here to talk about.  What matters, after all, is whether or not they threw the weird cosplaying ninja orphan baby out with the bathwater...

Comic Musing: AVENGERS: ENDLESS WARTIME

Gloomy cover, oft-gloomy book.

If there's one thing I cannot stand about comics, it's the term 'graphic novel'.

Oh, I get what it's meant to be used for, don't get me wrong: it's to illustrate the difference between the typical comic book series (with individual 20+ page installments delivered monthly, each serving as a chapter of a larger book) and a full story told in one single volume.  It's just that the term has been co-opted by snobbish types who can't bear to admit they once read "one of the funnybooks" and actually liked it.  "Oh yes, I have read that GRAPHIC NOVEL by mister Moore, it was rather enjoyable - what?  Comics?  Pfah, no, dear boy, I never read COMICS..."  Say that last sentence in your best Mark Kermode voice for maximum impact.

Anyway, that nitpick aside, graphic novels (grrrr) are something that Marvel has been kind of ignoring for the past few years.  DC, on the other hand, have had a pretty good grasp on what the format can do - namely attract a different audience, the kind of people who have a passing interest in the characters and worlds found in comics but lack the patience or obsessiveness to throw themselves into the deep end with an ongoing series.  Stuff like the Earth One Batman and Superman stories have been pretty successful examples of this, but with the debut effort of their new OGN line, Marvel are perhaps being more ambitious; instead of retelling the beginnings of one of their iconic heroes, writer Warren Ellis and artist Mike McKone choose to drop the reader into a very of-the-moment universe, with a team of already-established characters, and trust that you'll be able to keep up with the self-contained story.  Does the gamble work?  Read on to find out! (or to save you some time - yes, it does)

Film Reaction: THE WOLVERINE

...was, is and forever will be my least favourite X-Man, but what the hell, I guess I'll watch his movies if they have ninjas in them.

The shower-destroying plumber strikes again!

(goddamn, did I really remember that joke from 3 years ago?)

So, yeah, another movie about Wolverine.  Sure, only the second one with his name in the title, but we can all agree that every X-Men film save for First Class (my favourite, unsurprisingly) has been about the rapid-healing serial-killing hairy butthole, can't we?  And, yeah, his push to the front has made him the most bankable element of the series produced by Fox, but at this point, what more is there to say about Logan?  How many more trials can we force Hugh Jackman to go through?  Exactly how much more silly can we make his haircut?

That plus some generally uninspiring trailers and posters (like the shouty business above) made this probably the least-exciting genre flick of the summer for me.  I mean, it didn't look offensively bad the way The Lone Ranger did (haven't seen it and don't intend to, before you ask) but at least that trainwreck seemed memorable.  Iron Man 3 had the Mandarin and the 'Iron Legion', Man of Steel had the rebooted scent of newness and promises of crazy bastard action, Pacific Rim had goddamn giant robots and goddamn giant monsters, Fast Six had whatever Fast Five had but also with a tank...what did The Wolverine bring to the table besides the same bloodless claw stabbing we'd been seeing for years?

Let's have a look under the skin, before it heals again.

Just A Random Bunch of Faora GIFs

I think I mentioned in my Man of Steel review post that I was impressed with Antje Traue's performance as uberstrong henchlady Commander Faora-Ul (she ditched the 'Hu' in the film*), bu-u-ut that's really understating things.  Faora represents two conflicting fixations for me: the nerdy, over-analyzing part of my brain recognises the presence of a truly strong female character, who is allowed to be prominent and dangerous in a film largely dominated by male characters, and whose gender is never once brought up as an issue, which is fantastic; the more simplistic, primal side of me sees an exotic, beautiful actress with an all-kinds-of-sexy pan-European accent, somehow made even more intimidatingly unattainable thanks to power armour and a frickin' cape.  IS THIS LOVE????

So, here's a bunch of GIFs of the lady I found by tooling around on Tumblr and Google.  This is really more for my convenience than yours, yes.


* - Nerdy subnote: For some reason, it's long established in Superman comics that female children of Krypton take the full name of their father as their surname rather than just the hyphened suffix that serves as a family name - so while Kal-El is the son of Jor-El and you know they're related because they both have '-El' in the name, Kal's cousin Supergirl is named Lara Zor-El, with Zor-El being her dad's full name.  I really don't know why this is the case, other than maybe some anachronistic misogyny that never got retconned...and if that's actually the case, it makes sense for Faora to shorten her surname down to just '-Ul', as it sticks with the crazy man-hating persona of Faora in the comics.  Just a thought.

Now Playing: DEADPOOL

"THIS IS WHAT THE COVER LOOKS LIKE" - Craig

Released late June 2013.

Developed by High Moon Studios.

Published by Activision.

Available on Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3.

Version played: PlayStation 3.

The story of Deadpool (the character) is an interesting one.  Not the actual in-universe 'origin' or whatever, that's fairly bland stuff existing solely to drag another character out of some part of Wolverine's past to further capitalise on the pointy-haired Bananaman lookalike's popularity, and perhaps to copycat DC's Deathstroke The Terminator because why not.  Anyway, he quickly evolved from just being a dude with swords who dressed kinda like Spider-Man into a kind of walking in-joke, the court jester of the Marvel universe - a means for his writers to satirise the ludicrous conventions of the very same cape comics their co-workers were hawking to the masses.  DP wasn't a huge success but he had his niche, and survived for most of the 21st century living on the outer fringes of Marvel...and then all of a sudden, people started noticing him.  Part of that was no doubt down to the awful X-Men Origins: Wolverine, although how anyone could see what Fox did with the character there and think, "yes, this is a guy I would like to know more about!" is beyond my understanding.  Whatever the case, Marvel jumped at the opportunity and cashed in big on Deadpool, and even now he's got at least 2 montly ongoing comic series all about him, not to mention an enviable assortment of toys and other merch.  I have a Deadpool logo polo shirt, for god's sake.  Y'know, in case I feel like playing golf and need everyone there to know I support Deadpool.  At golf.

The story of Deadpool (the game) is a lot less interesting.  Marvel wanted to make more money out of the character so they got some devs to make a videogame about him.  And here it is.  I have been playing it.  And now I have been thinking about it.

Film Reaction/Now Playing Double Date: MAN OF STEEL

2 seconds later, the bungee cord tightened and Clark

went crashing back down.

While I usually try to get these reaction pieces up nice and quickly (well, quickly by my own hopeless standards, at any rate), Man of Steel - Warner Bros' latest attempt to prove they can do a successful superhero movie not about Batman - has been something of a stumbling block, thanks to a few factors.  I couldn't see it until a few days after its UK theater debut, I was still fumbling through an attempted review of Fast & Furious 6 (probably gonna ditch that one - short version, it was silly and great fun, see it if you haven't) and there was no shortage of reviews from more official sources all over the net, many hitting in advance of release, to the point where I figured anyone who knows me could already guess what my opinion would be.

Nevertheless, I do want to get some thoughts on it down here, because it's one of the more 'important' films this summer.  And in the name of variety, I'm also gonna throw in my 2 cents on the MoS tie-in game for iOS/Android devices after the film stuff.  Who says I'm not good to you?  (SPOILERS FOLLOW)

Now Playing: INJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US

One day Warners will give the general public a reason to care

about a DC property that isn't Batman.  This is not that day.

 

 

Released April 2013.

Published by Warner Bros. Games.

Developed by Netherrealm Studios.

Version played:  Wii U

 

Fighting games and superheroes really ought to go together like peanut butter and jam...no, wait, I hate peanut butter...and most jams...okay, better turn of phrase: they ought to go together like convenient DNA-altering lab accidents and losing a relative/guardian/love interest.  Given that basically every traditional cape comic in existence eventually boils down to a simple good guy versus bad guy showdown, translating those stories into a beat-em-up sounds really simple on paper.  But in practice, I can't recall ever being fully satisfied with the results.  Yes, I know, Marvel VS. Capcom has a large, long-lived fanbase, but it's...it's a Capcom fighting game through and through, so irrespective of appearances I have never been able to convince myself, in any incarnation of the series, that I'm really playing AS Spider-Man (or whoever).  No, I'm controlling someone from Street Fighter that kinda looks like Spider-Man.  Superheroes don't just stand 4 feet apart and throw rapid punch-kick combos at each other, they fly, they flip, they shatter the ground with every footfall, hoist 80-ton weights above their head and blast lasers from every orifice!  The only game off the top of my head to try and nail that style of battling was EA's Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects, which unfortunately falls under the heading of 'A for effort, D for execution'.

 

And now the artists formerly known as...whatever their team name was at Midway are taking their second stab at Marvel's 'distinguished competition' after Mortal Kombat VS. DC Universe (a game we DO NOT TALK ABOUT EVER except when we mention it like I did just there) with Injustice, which if nothing else has seen a publicity blitz vastly beyond the reach of any other fighter in recent memory.  The ads were everywhere, there's a tie-in comic series, there's a whole line of 4" action figures (which I'm sorely tempted to sample, especially since Green Arrow and Deathstroke are pack-buddies) - this is the kind of media saturation normally granted only to AAA shoot-em-ups of the most boring variety, and I've no doubt it'll reflect well on the sales figures.  But the question is, will the game prove good enough to keep on rotation for months to come...?

Comic Musing: CAPTAIN MARVEL and X-MEN LEGACY

I may have mentioned this before, but, I'm a terrible comics reader.

Not because reading comics is bad in any sense - of course not - and not because I'm slow or stupid and thus incapable of following an illustrated story effectively - well, unless it's Grant Morrison, but since I threw out my The Return of Bruce Wayne from His Not-Dead Death by Time Travel Omega Eyebeam blah blah something ANTILIFE and Now He's A Robot until Wonder Woman Punches Him Back to Normal* trade I don't feel so bad about that.  No, I mean my problem is twofold; I never buy single issues, and I never listen to any sort of hype for new releases unless it's hype that agrees with me.  Because obviously, if something doesn't tally up with my opinions it's WRONG and should not exist.  Like Wolverine, who I'm fairly sure is only popular due to a mass brainwashing program/Hugh Jackman's dreamy eyes.

Okay, enough stalling: the two books I wanna talk about today are prime examples of my Second Failing, things I was interested by because they tickled parts of my brain I'm already fond of, but for a change I decided to pick them up one issue at a time...and they both turned out so well I've stuck to it.  Now I'm only a singular failure!  Wayhey!

(The following is a reaction piece to, and may contain spoilers for, issues 1-10 of Captain Marvel and 1-6 of X-Men Legacy.)

* - you only think that's a facetious summation of that story because you haven't read it yet.

Please Make BEWARE THE BATMAN Not Happen Again

Now, after my Smallville comics post, you may think that I am not someone who has any business getting up in arms over some change to the Batman status quo - and honestly, I'm with you there.  I am very much in favour of new approaches where this character is concerned, especially if they take us in as un-Nolan a direction as possible.

Even so, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed.  And with the upcoming animated series Beware the Batman, someone at DC or Warner Bros. has just skipped merrily over that line without a care.  For evidence, I summon forth a recently-debuted character focus sheet, found in a recent issue of a DC Nation kids' magazine by the folks behind the DC Women Kicking Ass Tumblr:

Can't see the problem yet?  Let me take a page out of CSI here.  ZOOM.  ENHANCE.

Alfred's preferred weapon is a f***ing pulse rifle.

A pulse rifle.  Which, let's be clear, is a gun.  A gun being used by Batman's butler/assistant/best friend.

Remember how Batman's parents died?  Remember how awful that was for him?  Remember how it basically made him vehemently opposed to the very idea of ever using a firearm?

And boy I really hate it when I have to use Frank Miller as

an example of Batman done 'right'...

And yet, here he's totally okay with letting Alfred tote an automatic rifle.

No.  No.  That isn't 'interesting new take', it's a violation of the character's foundations and it's utterly pointless.  You want to have an Alfred who's more action-oriented, who helps Batman out of tough scrapes by throwing down with the bad guys?  Sure, you can have that, but there's no reason he has to do it with a gun.  Just have him wail on guys with a golf club - or, given that here he looks the spitting image of The Goon, his enormous ham-fists of justice.  But not a gun.  Never a gun.

And yes, I'm sure that (this being a kid's show etc.) the rifle will be some sort of non-lethal tazer thing rather than a Colonial Marines-endorsed murder machine, but it's still providing all the wrong sort of imagery for a Batman ally.  And I really have no clue why it's happening here.

I just don't want it to ever happen again.

Tekken Tag Tournament 2: Nina Williams IS Captain Marvel!

As I first mentioned on mah Twittah machine, I finally managed to actually make a custom design in a computer game that I feel proud of - in this case, turning my beloved Nina into (also my beloved, as it happens) Carol Danvers in her new Captain Marvel togs.  This was done with the Superhero Top and Leather Pants & Boots items, with their colours correspondingly switched, and three separate  decal applications on the upper body to add some more red and also simulate Carol's eight-pointed star emblem.

Comparison shot - from comic (left) to my TV (right)

More pics after the jump - apologies in advance for stuttering quality, I don't currently have any video-capture hardware so I've basically just been photographing my TV with a camera.