Further Adventures of Minimate Nina, part четыре: A Day Unlike Any Other

Nighttime, at a news office on the outskirts of the city...

(Don't ask which city.  There is only one.  The city.)

Nina:  Porn, porn, angry editorial about some spider-guy, weather forecast, porn, sports...ugh.

And this chair is tiny and really cramping my butt.  Guess it was a long shot

to expect this rag to have anything on new organised crime outfits...

though maybe I can break into the CIA from here - 

SUDDENLY THE POWER CUTS!

Nina:  This isn't going to be the good kind of surprise, is it?

???:  Miss Williams!  On the authority of SHIELD, you are under arrest!  Come out of the 

building with your hands empty and there won't be any trouble!

Iron Man:  You don't really expect her to go for that, do ya?

Captain America:  No, not really.  That's why you're all here.

AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!

Click through for more.

Hulk:  HULK IS DOWN NOW.

Captain America:  Good for you.  Fan out, everyone, but not too far apart.

There's nowhere to go out the back so she has to come to us...

Black Widow:  And don't get complacent.  SHIELD's files barely cover half

this woman's 'career' and even then her record speaks for itself.  She killed

one of Delta Red's top operatives two months ago...

Ms. Marvel:  We get it, Widow, she's a badass.  Even so, kid gloves are in

effect - so no Unibeams, Tony.

Iron Man:  Tch, killjoy.

Wonder Man:  So, um...how long are we supposed to wait for her

to come out?  I don't think we specified a time.

Thor:  Until mine godly temper is frayed.  But you know the womenfolk,

Simon Williams - they leave their men waiting 'til the coming of Ragnarok

as they dabble in yon mysterious 'powder room'.

Wonder Man:  I...don't really know what to say to that, Thor - hey, is that?

Wonder Man:  GAK - !

Thor:  BY MY FATHER'S BEARD!

Captain America:  Blast!  Widow, get behind something!  Where'd that

shot come from?

Iron Man:  The roof - 

Nina:  Oh, hi guys.  What's up?

Iron Man:  You just knocked the stuffing out of an ionically-powered

superhuman in one shot, where the hell'd a merc like you get guns like that?

(I swear that's not a pick-up line)

Nina:  Wouldn't you like to know...

MEANWHILE, AT THE SECRET HEADQUARTERS OF X-FORCE:

Cable:  Domino!  Some of my guns are missing.

Domino:  How would you know?  You've got like eight dozen around here.

Cable:  Miriam and Bertie are supposed to be on this shelf, though...

Domino:  You...named them.

Cable:  ...some of them?

Iron Man:  Awright, nuts to this, I got target lock.  Firing!

Nina:  Pffft.

Iron Man:  Orrrrr I could just hit the building a bunch.  Like I meant to.

Thor:  Behold, villain, the senses-shattering might of Mjolnir!

*ZOINK*

Thor:  Oh balls.

Nina:  Hey Iron Pants, wanna play laser tag?

Iron Man:  That's not even funnEEEAAAH!

Nina:  No?  Too bad.

Nina:  And now for you...what the hell?

Ms. Marvel:  Was that a plasma shot?  It tickled.

Nina:  #@%&ing supers...

*SOUND OF SOMETHING HEAVY BREAKING*

Captain America:  What was - ?

Hulk:  HULK WILL HELP!

Captain America:  Hulk, no!  Put the plane back together again RIGHT NOW!

Hulk:  UHHH, HULK NOT KNOW HOW TO FIX PLANE.  HULK ONLY

KNOW SMASH!

Nina:  Oh, great.

Hulk:  HULK SQUASHES PURPLE LADY!

Nina:  Not tonight, move Nina move - !

Nina:  Grrrnnn!  Dammit, dropped the plasma thingy...

Black Widow:  Okay, Tony, I've got you - Carol, stop her!

Ms. Marvel:  Missed!  She's a fast one...

Nina:  Here, catch!

Black Widow:  Watch out!

Ms. Marvel:  But...that won't do anything...

Ms. Marvel:  I mean, I can absorb gunfire indefinitely, I'm not gonna get

KO'd from someone throwing a gun at me - 

Nina:  Maybe not, but how about this?

*GUNSHOT*

Ms. Marvel:  Whuuuuh - !

Nina:  Unstable power-pack on that thing.  Why I still swear by bullets.

Captain America:  Wait, she's wearing NVGs?  Thor!  Light it up!

Thor:  BLOW, winds!  ROLL, clouds!  May the skies give voice to thy anger and - 

Captain America:  GET ON WITH IT!

Thor:  ...okay fine here's some lightning and stuff.

Nina:  GAH!

Nina:  Dammit...can barely see my own fingers...

Nina:  Guh!

Black Widow:  Nicely done, team.  Efficient, too.

Captain America:  Can the sarcasm, Natasha, and get some cuffs on her.

Tony, are you okay?

Iron Man:  Dammit, no, armour's blue-screening me.  Gimme a tick.

Captain America:  Wha - she's playing us!

Nina:  Damn right!

*GUNSHOT*

Black Widow:  Nice try, but I've been shot by better than you.

Nina:  And you're proud of this?  Really?

Captain America:  Avengers!  Take her - 

Nina:  Hush, you.

Captain America:  Gnnnn....

THOOM!

Nina:  Uhm...

Hulk:  YOU HURT BLUE MAN!  NOW HULK HURT YOU!

Nina:  No thanks, think I'll go the other...way...

Thor:  This time the arm of Thor shall not veer astray!  I shall

flatten thee as unto the baker kneading dough!

Iron Man:  Yeah!  Baking!  That's what I'm talking about!

(I have no idea what he's talking about right now)

Nina:  Yoink!

Thor:  ...ah.

Iron Man:  Ohhhh crap.

Hulk:  GOLDILOCKS THROWS HAMMER AT HULK?!

Hulk:  RRRRRAAAAAARRGH!

Thor:  You misunderstand, mine giant friend, I was merely OW OW OW

Iron Man:  Hell!  Simon, get over here!

Nina:  Haha!  You guys are making this easy for me.

Hulk:  PURPLE GIRL LAUGHS AT HULK!

Nina:  Er, only tangentially?

Hulk:  GRRRRRR...

Iron Man:  Christ, lady, don't needle him!  Simon, hold the other arm!

Wonder Man:  Nnnf!  Hulk - Doctor Banner - please, we can handle this,

just calm down - 

Hulk:  HULK NOT CALM DOWN!

Wonder Man:  Ooof!

Iron Man:  Ack!  Perfect!  More scratches on the paintwork!

Anyone else got a bright idea?

Ms. Marvel:  I might...

Hulk:  HUH?

Ms. Marvel:  Widow, you deal with the target!  I'll take our noisy

friend someplace else!

Hulk:  BUT HULK WANTS TO STAY!

Ms. Marvel:  TOUGH!

Hulk:  AWWWWW!

*MANY GUNSHOTS*

THWAP!

Nina:  Hmph!

KRACK!

Nina:  Evened it up - hey!

Black Widow:  Borrowing this...

Nina:  Before we do this, and before there's a lot less of you to

hear me, I'm gonna be honest - fighting you is the highlight of my

week.  Kind of a fan.

Black Widow:  Thanks, I'll get you an autograph once you're

unconscious.  Ready now?

Nina:  Ready.

*MUCH SWORD NOISES*

*MUCH KICKING NOISES*

Nina:  Hmph!  Pretty good.

Black Widow:  No...

Black Widow:  This is pretty good.

Nina:  Huah!

Black Widow:  I can appreciate bravado, but you're not walking away

from here no matter how hard you try.  Surrender.

Nina:  Hnf...let me think about that...

Black Widow:  Gah?!

Nina:  While I break your arm.

Black Widow:  Not so fast!

Nina:  Oof!  What?!

Black Widow:  You thought you were the only one with moves?

Nina:  Blame the recent competition...couple 'World Warriors'

and the hairy half-pint have got me underestimating everyone...

Nina:  Appreciate the wake-up call, though.

Black Widow:  Agh!

Nina:  One thing I don't get, though - the X-Man and Girlscout

Fantasy Wrestler were foamy-mouthed crazy when they attacked me,

but you seem pretty calm.  What's your secret?

Black Widow:  My secret?

Nina:  I'm guessing the big boss is letting you in on a few more

of his secrets than the others...

Black Widow:  ...something's wrong here.

Nina:  Huh?

Captain America:  Ngh...good work stalling, Widow, now if we - 

Black Widow:  Cap, no!  I think...we've made a mistake.

Nina:  You did?

Captain America:  ...alright, explain, Natasha.

Black Widow:  Going from what miss Williams just told me, it sounds like

Wolverine wasn't himself when he attacked her.  I'm thinking mind control,

maybe a Skrull duplicate.

Captain America:  It was still murder, though...

Nina:  Self-defence.  Besides, he's an X-Man, they never stay dead.

Captain America:  Got a point there.

Black Widow:  Anyway, if someone could control Logan and send him

after a specific target, they could also have arranged for the details of

his death to reach SHIELD - who of course, would and have sent us

after the killer.  It's a pretty solid back-up plan...though at this point it's

mostly my gut instinct.

Nina:  Why the sudden faith in me?

Black Widow:  Because I've seen lunatics up close before.  I can recognise

them.  You're dangerous, certainly, but you're not crazy, and you're not on

a murder rampage or we'd have been following a trail of bodies to find you.

So, something's up.  Wanna fill us in?

Nina:  ...alright.

Hulk:  HULK HAS NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW.

Meanwhile, close by...

???:  Damn it all.

*Dial Tone*

C. Viper:  Back-up scheme didn't work, the 'heroes' caught on.  Back to

square one.

And in a SUPER SECRET VILLAIN LAIR...

*hangs up*

Deathstroke:  Looks like you and your dolls are back in play, Puppet Master.

Puppet Master:  I don't like this - the more active I am, the more likely

it is someone will see a pattern and figure out I'm involved...

Deathstroke:  Then try harder, and kill Williams before she follows the

breadcrumbs.  Simple.

Puppet Master:  'Simple'?!  GAH!

To be continued...

Notes:  Bloody hell, it took long enough, right?

First off, I apologize for the lacking image quality in a lot of the pics here.  As you can see I moved the setting again, attempting to take advantage of an in-questionable-taste wall mural in the house, but alas, the indoor lighting was sub-par, and the wall didn't reflect the flash very well, hence the iffy focus and pixellation.  As ever though, I learn with each failure.  Although I do wish it had occurred to me to put down the white paper under the figs in advance, rather than halfway through the story, since it seems to have made quite a difference.

The story itself is mostly just one pitched battle...again...though of course I've tried to increase the scale and the complexity.  To that end I drafted a couple of Lego sets to serve as props - specifically the Quinjet from the Avengers movie line and the Daily Bugle office set from the Ultimate Spider-Man range.  The latter isn't quite what I wanted (and, granted, it makes little sense for Nina to be trying to uncover details of a conspiracy aimed at her from a news rag) but I've only got 2 'building' sets right now and the other one I'd rather hold in reserve for future.  Besides, it looked really cool when Hulk broke it, right?

For our supporting cast in this story, I went with a mixed-up Avengers squad, since I never quite completed the movie team (can't find Hawkeye) and wanted to use some of my personal favourite Avengers from the comics, hence Ms. Marvel and Wonder Man.  I've intentionally toned down the comedy here compared to the Wolverine story, since I actually like these characters, though I couldn't resist mockery when it came to Thor and Hulk's dialogue.  And before anyone asks, yes, a lot of the more powerful team members seem to take a long time to recover from single hits, but, c'mon, I'm just one guy doing this!  (and being objective, I wouldn't fancy Nina's chances against this crew operating at peak powers, big laser guns or not)  We also reveal two more of our long-term villains, and I threw in a Cable and Domino cameo that will not make sense unless you're at least mildly familiar with '90s-era X-Men comics.  Couldn't resist.

NEXT TIME...not quite sure what happens next, but it will probably involve HYDRA, since I just got a new Madame Viper minimate a week ago and it's really cool.  But I promise something actually important will happen!