'Let It Snow'

Just a quick bit of self-advertising: I wrote a Christmassy Tekken fanfic about, of course, the Williams sisters, and you can read it here if you fancy.

And if I don't post again before the date comes, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.

Quick Review - BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: BLOOD AND CHROME

Lens flare alert!

Get your JJ Abrams the hell away from this franchise!

I love the noughties remake of Battlestar Galactica.  Like, firstborn-son love it.  I don't necessarily revisit individual episodes as often as I do with Doctor Who or Supernatural, but that's mainly down to being incapable of leaving it at one; if I watch 'Pegasus', you better believe I'm watching the rest of season 2 marathon-style.  And if I'm not working tomorrow, season 3 as well.

There's not any one thing that really makes or breaks the show; it's the simple fact that every single creative element behind it gave 110% and found a common path upon which they could push themselves as workers whilst still committing to the same singular goal.  The writers shake things up so hard so frequently it's a wonder anyone can stand up on the Galactica without falling over.  The directors pull you from one end of the show's world to the other fast enough to lose your breath and yet still make every scene, every development, crystal clear.  The cast give career-best performances all around, and I have never cared for an ensemble in any form of fiction as much as I did for these assorted officers, pilots, politicians, sawbones, religious nuts, kooky lawyers and meat robots.  The production design team crafted fleets of spacecraft of all shapes and sizes, built interiors where no space is wasted and every single element has a purpose, AND decided that wasn't enough and invented the most eerily-minimalist interiors they could for the Cylon baseships and their computers controlled by puddles of water because God magic.  Bear McCreary's musical cues brought me to the verge of tears repeatedly, from the haunting Six theme to the big jungle percussion for space dogfights and his sparing, selective use of the '70s Galactica title music.  AND AND, Tricia Helfer was in it and...ah...Tri...

triciaaaaaaaa aaaa

:D

wat

...What?  Oh.  Um, yeah, so, it's the best TV show ever, and at least one person at the Network Formerly Known As Sci-Fi Channel recognises that, as ever since the show ended (happily on its own terms), they've been trying to continue it via spin-offs.  First came Caprica, which was intelligent and well-acted and often dramatic and absolutely not at all what I wanted to see, sadly.  Whilst I applaud Ronald D. Moore and company for trying something markedly different, the show we wound up with was so far removed from Galactica that the only thing connecting the two was that one robot Cylon with the girl's mind in its head.  Everything else was all corporate espionage and stuff from The Sopranos with more pronounced class warfare.  Though I wish it had lasted longer so that it could have organically found the time to complete its many long-running plotlines, I wasn't surprised by its cancellation.

Then came Blood & Chrome...except it didn't.  Well, not really, but...it's complicated.

TEKKEN BLOOD VENGEANCE vs. TEKKEN MOVIE 2010 Comparison

This has been a long time coming.

Back in my Tekken Tag 2 Endings post, I fleetingly mentioned my disdain for the animated Blood Vengeance movie, something which - after rewatching it - I feel should not need explanation.  However, there are still many, too many, ostensible Tekken fans out there who not only cling to BV as a good interpretation of the series' themes and values, but also as a superior feature to the much-maligned live action Tekken film produced by Crystal Sky, which I'm here referring to as Tekken 2010 even though I'm fairly sure I first saw it in '09...and it didn't reach the US 'til 2011...but, y'know, IMDB says 2010 so we'll just go with that.

Anyways, this pisses me off for a whole mess of reasons, not the least of which is that I legitimately LIKE Tekken 2010 despite some issues with it, and consider it one of the few acceptable game-to-film adaptations yet made (the others are Silent Hill, DOA and Resident Evil Extinction, fyi).  So to explain and hopefully settle things, I'm going to break down both films into their constituent parts before comparing and contrasting their performances.  Some of these factors will pertain to how faithful they are to the source material, others are based more on simple filmmaking qualities/decisions, but all are important.

And I'm not covering Tekken: The Motion Picture because it is a movie based on a fighting game that does not contain any worthwhile fighting so its failure should be obvious to everyone.

Just Finished: 007 LEGENDS

Wow, Jaws looks way more realistic than Bond here...

...oh, right.

Released October 2012.

Published by Activision.

Developed by Eurocom.

Version played: PlayStation 3.

As you might have noticed, 2012 represents the 50th anniversary of the James Bond movie franchise (not the books, they're older).  To be honest, I've felt the festivities to be a little lacking on MGM's part - sure, we got Skyfall and the full series Blu-Ray set (on the Christmas list!) but those could have come out any year.  Hell, the BRs should've been out sooner, I've been waiting far too damn long for 'em.  Still, at least other groups tried to do something a little special to mark the occasion.  Some of them were great fun, like the Top Gear special with Richard Hammond squeeing over all the old cars of the series.  Others, however...

...that would be 007 Legends.

Please Make BEWARE THE BATMAN Not Happen Again

Now, after my Smallville comics post, you may think that I am not someone who has any business getting up in arms over some change to the Batman status quo - and honestly, I'm with you there.  I am very much in favour of new approaches where this character is concerned, especially if they take us in as un-Nolan a direction as possible.

Even so, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed.  And with the upcoming animated series Beware the Batman, someone at DC or Warner Bros. has just skipped merrily over that line without a care.  For evidence, I summon forth a recently-debuted character focus sheet, found in a recent issue of a DC Nation kids' magazine by the folks behind the DC Women Kicking Ass Tumblr:

Can't see the problem yet?  Let me take a page out of CSI here.  ZOOM.  ENHANCE.

Alfred's preferred weapon is a f***ing pulse rifle.

A pulse rifle.  Which, let's be clear, is a gun.  A gun being used by Batman's butler/assistant/best friend.

Remember how Batman's parents died?  Remember how awful that was for him?  Remember how it basically made him vehemently opposed to the very idea of ever using a firearm?

And boy I really hate it when I have to use Frank Miller as

an example of Batman done 'right'...

And yet, here he's totally okay with letting Alfred tote an automatic rifle.

No.  No.  That isn't 'interesting new take', it's a violation of the character's foundations and it's utterly pointless.  You want to have an Alfred who's more action-oriented, who helps Batman out of tough scrapes by throwing down with the bad guys?  Sure, you can have that, but there's no reason he has to do it with a gun.  Just have him wail on guys with a golf club - or, given that here he looks the spitting image of The Goon, his enormous ham-fists of justice.  But not a gun.  Never a gun.

And yes, I'm sure that (this being a kid's show etc.) the rifle will be some sort of non-lethal tazer thing rather than a Colonial Marines-endorsed murder machine, but it's still providing all the wrong sort of imagery for a Batman ally.  And I really have no clue why it's happening here.

I just don't want it to ever happen again.

TEKKEN TAG TOURNAMENT 2: Character Endings in Review (UPDATED)

Okay, so Tekken Tag Tournament 2 has been out for long enough now that I don't feel like an asshole for talking about the endings.  All (well, nearly) of the game's gargantuan roster have received their own individual CG ending cutscene this time around - no more all-in-one film for ChrEddy and other clones! - and, on average, the running time for each has expanded.  More importantly, IMO, they're a much more varied bunch tonally and artistically than the disappointing haul from Tekken 6.  So, I'm gonna go over them one at a time and offer my thoughts on the content, style and general quality of each and every single one.

Two things in advance, though.  One, I'm not posting the actual vids here - it'd clog up the post.  If you want to look them up without bothering to play the game yourself, you lazy so-and-so, I recommend the YouTube channels of Robert Cram or Bloodburger1.  Two, there are still several characters yet to be unlocked on my version of the game; my pre-order codes got me Kunimitsu and Ancient Ogre but not Michelle Chang or Angel, plus there's Violet, Dr. B and Unknown who have yet to be added in.  When they appear, I'll update this post accordingly.  (UPDATE: Got them added now!)

GET READY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE!

Tekken Tag Tournament 2: Nina Williams IS Captain Marvel!

As I first mentioned on mah Twittah machine, I finally managed to actually make a custom design in a computer game that I feel proud of - in this case, turning my beloved Nina into (also my beloved, as it happens) Carol Danvers in her new Captain Marvel togs.  This was done with the Superhero Top and Leather Pants & Boots items, with their colours correspondingly switched, and three separate  decal applications on the upper body to add some more red and also simulate Carol's eight-pointed star emblem.

Comparison shot - from comic (left) to my TV (right)

More pics after the jump - apologies in advance for stuttering quality, I don't currently have any video-capture hardware so I've basically just been photographing my TV with a camera.

Film Reaction: SKYFALL

Good work on the poster, guys.

It...really doesn't have anything on it, does it?

James Bond.  You can't really start talking about a new Bond movie without addressing basically ALL the old Bond movies, and frankly I'm surprised I haven't spoken on the series here before now, as they're some of my favourite movies.  That said, I don't have the polarized view a lot of fans do towards the various actors who have played Bond himself; to date, I like all of them, and appreciate the ways their films tried to capitalise on the strengths of how each chose to personify Bond.

When it comes to Daniel Craig, I like the rough-and-tumble physicality he brings to the table, not to mention the uncouth,cocky edge he employs for his humour.  His Bond is basically a gorilla in a sharp suit pretending to be a gentleman, and his films have been at their best when they've been putting him in high society locations full of extremely posh people, and letting him bounce off them.  There's also been an increased focus on 'humanising' Bond recently, which mostly means ripping away a lot of the elements fans were used to and rebuilding the character from the ground up.  Casino Royale was a great 'year one' film, where the small scope of the villain's operation and aims mirrored the limited scope of Bond as an agent with a lot to learn about accountability and his role in the grander MI6 scheme.  Unfortunately, Quantum of Solace just didn't know where to take Bond next, and its lack of focus soured virtually everything else in the film (does anyone even remember what the bad guy was up to?).  Now comes Skyfall, coinciding with the film series' 50th anniversary, with a lot to live up to, thanks to both the occasion and the failings of its predecessor.  And hoo boy, it doesn't just live up to expectations, it blows them right outta the water.

WARNING: I'll try to be gentle, but even so, potential spoilers follow.

Comic Musing: 'SMALLVILLE Season 11'

Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?

Is it some sort of title-seeking missile?

To say that I was a fan of Smallville when it was still a TV show is, I suppose, half-right.  Much like the rest of the world, I ignored it for the majority of its run; however, thanks to Comics Alliance and their sterling work reviewing each episode of the final (10th) season, I got interested in seeing what it was they found so confusing.  Picking up the BR set of season 10 on its first week of release, I devoted an entire weekend to watching it from start to finish - and oh, I got my answers, and then some.  Navel-gazing introspection, naff music cues and mawkish sentimentality was being made to share the screen with Hawkman, a transparent rip-off of The Matrix (in the year 2011?), and Darkseid - Lord of Apolokips, most foul of the New Gods, one of Jack Kirby's most enduring villains - redesigned as a malignant cloud of smoke.  And that's before we consider this as a retelling of the origins of Superman, which meant that it spent 10 years with a superpowered Clark Kent running around Metropolis not actually being a superhero.  It was, is and may always be the ultimate example of car-crash TV.

And yet, it had viewers.  A shade over a million per episode, in fact, even into the later seasons.  So I suppose it wasn't much of a surprise for DC Comics to greenlight a new ongoing series picking up where the show left off - if even half as many people who watched the show could be persuaded to buy the comics, they'd be the best-selling Superman books since, well, since the absolute WORST Superman books ever.  Makes sense from a business perspective.

From a storytelling perspective?  Hmmm...

The Wii U: Thoughts in Advance

At this point, saying I'm a bit excited about the impending (hurry up next month!) launch of Nintendo's next home console is a pretty big understatement, and anyone who knows me and my gaming habits will find that only slightly less surprising than the facts that, yes, I've pre-ordered one, and no, I haven't even started to plan out my big purchases in advance to make sure I'll have the money for it.  :P

Even so, I feel like I should try to put some of my thoughts regarding the system, its games and the ramifications of its existence down here for posterity, if nothing else to prove my fanboy credentials.

Now Playing: DEAD OR ALIVE 5

"3...2...1...Strike a pose, everybody!"

Released October 2012.

Published by Tecmo Koei.

Developed by Team Ninja.

Version played: PlayStation 3.

Fighting games seem to have seasons, I've noticed.  You can go for 3 years with not a single new arrival outside of small-time indies on Steam and other such services, until all of a sudden a whole bunch of them arrive, practically tripping over each other's over-muscled bodies in their attempt to sweet-talk you with their expanded rosters, shinier graphics and thoughtful tutorial mode for stupid people.  So while Team Ninja can talk all they like about an organic process of growth over the many years that Dead or Alive was dormant leading up to its well-plotted-out reappearance, the fact that it's riding in on the coattails of Tekken Tag Tournament 2's worldwide hype train - which itself rose from the shadows cast by Street Fighter X Tekken - seems a little too convenient to be coincidence.  Still, there's no rule saying we can't have more than one solid fighter to choose from at any given time, so I was more than ready to welcome a return to the DOAverse.  And having been wearing my thumbs down with it for a week or so now, it's time to take a more in-depth look under its shirt.  I mean, boobs.  Bonnet, dammit!

Minimate Nina: Customisation Gallery 1

One of the joys of Minimates that I'm only beginning to tap into is their uniform nature and simple construction; with every figure sharing largely the same body, held together the same way, and none of it glued or bolted in place, it's both easy and fun to mix and match parts across multiple figures, winding up with neat custom replacements for characters not yet created by Art Asylum - or, if you're anything like me, a load of abject nonsense.

Today, it occurred to me how much this reminded me of the character customisation features in the more recent Tekken games - which means it's time for more Nina love!

Starting off with one assembled purely from the Street Fighter X Tekken first wave, it's Boxing Nina!  Or maybe Kickboxing Nina, I don't know:

Parts used: Nina's head and hair, Poison's torso and arms, Steve Fox' gloves/hands,

and Sagat's hips and legs.

More after the jump!

Film Reaction: RESIDENT EVIL RETRIBUTION

WEARING.  TOO MANY.  GODDAMN.  BUCKLES.

It took me a while to decide whether or not there was much point in doing a write-up of my experience watching Retribution, the latest in what is still, mind-bogglingly enough, the most successful videogame-to-film series of all time.  This is mainly due to fatigue with the series and the attitude of its architects - every time  a new film comes out, professional critics and simple fans alike express in many cases the same grievances, and every time series overseer Paul W.S. Anderson politely sticks his fingers in his ears, smiling mildly at the okay box office returns which more than double whatever the film cost to make.  Then it's back on the merry-go-round for another whirl, with the script blithely tying itself in knots to explain (or not explain) the absence of characters from the last film and sudden appearance of replacements.

That said, after leaving this blog to rot for far too long, I feel the need to continue my current activity levels, and while Retribution certainly fell into a few of the same pits as its predecessors, it also found new, hitherto-unknown ways to fail, too.  And who says innovation is dead?

WARNING:  SPOILERS FOLLOW.

Further Adventures of Minimate Nina, part one

What, you thought I was done?  We're done when I say we're done.  I didn't say we were done.

Minimate Nina Williams!

So my Street Fighter X Tekken Minimates finally arrived (or the first wave of them, anyway), and although the presence of plastic Lili on my shelf inflates my room's tramp factor by 300% I'm generally pleased with them.  Most importantly, though, wave 1 included Nina Williams, my first love in videogames and, along with Tricia Helfer, one of the two greatest women in history, constantly locked in battle over control of my soul. (I kid - they're not fighting, I don't want either of them getting hurt) Since this is a pretty special occasion, I shall be celebrating the only way I know how - with crappy pictures!  So here's Nina strutting her stuff and beating up some lesser blonde whose name I forget.

Wherefore Art Thou, Articulation?

(Pictures and post layout made over a year ago - somehow remembered about them this week and felt like putting this up anyway, even though it's a bit outdated now. - Craig)

Deadpool:  "Wade's house, bah-bum-bum, in the middle of Wade's street...dah-rah..."

Deadpool:  "Well, who do we got here now?  Hey folks, and welcome to what I hope'll be a regular guest-starring stint on this here blog!  Not that I really need any more guest-starring roles, I'm turning up in so much crap nowadays I can barely catch time for a Golden Girls masturba - umm, marathon at the weekends."