Snow Job: "Weeeeeeee!"
Snow Job: "Hell, only two bars? There's never a mobile tower nearby when
you need one. Let's get higher..."
Snow Job: "Much better. Hey, I think I see some Cobras down there.
Better pick up my massive, overcompensatory sniper rifle and ventilate
their foreheads...crap, it's slippy up here..."
Snow Job: "OW! My coccyx!"
Snow Job: "Uhh...Doc...DOC! I need some help!"
Doc: "And how the bejesus am I supposed to get up there?"
(Editor's note: Why does Doc have beer cans stuck to the sides
of his helmet? Did Hawk call him in during a Superbowl marathon?)
Doc: "Oh, hi, Beachhead. I didn't know you were trained for cold climates..."
Frostbite: "I'm NOT Beachhead! He's not the only guy in the world who can wear
a goddamn ski-mask, y'know!"
Doc: "Well, no, but you're clearly not Firefly, so..."
Frostbite: *sigh*
Doc: "Um, no, Snake Eyes, I don't think shooting missiles at Snow Job is gonna
help him right now."
Snake Eyes: "?"
Shipwreck: "Hey, I've got an idea!"
Doc: "Wait, YOU get snow shoes and I don't? How is that fair?!"
Shipwreck: "The girl in requisitions likes to stroke my beard. Anyway..."
Shipwreck: "I bet we could use Polly here to fly some supplies up to Snow Job!
She's a real clever bird, y'know!"
Doc: "I'm ashamed to admit I can't think of anything better right now."
Doc: "Okay, let's see what's in my super-awesome medical kit. Um...a water can, a torch,
some pliers and a slab of C4."
Shipwreck: "That's medical stuff?"
Doc: "I may have picked up Tripwire's backpack by mistake. I suppose
the pliers'll have to do."
Shipwreck: "Fly, Polly! FLY!"
Doc: "That's got to be the least majestic bird I've ever seen."
Shipwreck: "Shut your face."
Doc: "How long is that parrot gonna take...?"
BANG!
Shipwreck: "What was that?"
Doc: "Oh...now that's what I call a dead parrot."
Shipwreck: "POLLY?!"
Shipwreck: "B-but...without my bird...I am LOST!"
Doc: "Well, I'm sorry, but that parrot is no more. It has ceased to be.
It's expired and gone to meet its maker..."
Doc: "It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace!"
Shipwreck: "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
Doc: "Okay, I'll stop now."
Doc: "Snake Eyes, did you shoot Shipwreck's bird again?"
Snake Eyes: *shrug*
Doc: "Well, if you didn't, who did?"
Snow Serpent: "HAH! It was us! Beware, for the Elite Cobra Arctic Non-Sniper
Sniper Squad are here to wreck your shit!"
Ice-Viper: "Do we really have to call ourselves that? And how come you get
snow shoes and I don't?"
Snow Serpent: "I'm the Baroness' number-one foot masseur on my days off.
It earns me special privileges...and scars me to the pits of my soul."
Ice-Viper: "Wow, lucky."
BONK!
Frostbite: "HEY! I haven't got this thing insured yet!"
Snake Eyes: "!"
Ice Cutter Driver: "Cry me a river, Beachhead!"
Frostbite: "FROSTBITE! FROST-FUCKING-BITE!"
Doc: "How the hell didn't we hear that thing coming?"
Destro: "Ah, G.I. Joe! How very 'ice' to see you!"
Doc: "God, I preferred it when you were doing that horrible Sean Connery accent."
Shipwreck: "He killed Polly! Quick, Doc, shoot him with your little laser pistol!"
Doc: "It's a flare gun. Sorry."
Shipwreck: "Fucking hell, if you won't do it, I'll kill him with my bare hands, and
possibly my beard!"
Doc: "No, Anakin! Er, Shipwreck!"
ZAP!
Shipwreck: "Blorg!"
Destro: "Ha! I think I feel another Arnie quote coming on..."
Destro: "We aim to...freeze. Hehehe!"
Storm Shadow: "Ah! So you yet live, my brother! Good! It is time we FIGHT!"
Snake Eyes: *sigh*
Storm Shadow: "Don't look at me like that, it's not like you've got anything
better to do."
Storm Shadow: "You'll notice I brought sais, brother. Do you remember
when we were children, playing as Ninja Turtles in the halls of the Arashikage Temple?
You were always Leonardo, I was Raphael...nothing has changed, except
this time, Raphael is going to WIN!"
Snake Eyes: "?"
Storm Shadow: "Look, I can't help it if you're not up-to-date on our latest origin ret-cons."
Storm Shadow: "WHAT?! You blocked the ancient Walk Up To The Other Guy And
Stab His Face technique?! Well, no matter - I have a thousand more silly-named
secret arts at my fingertips!"
Destro: "Well, while those two morons sort each other out for the seventy-millionth time,
I think I should be killing you about now. Unfortunately, my kick-arse freeze gun is only
good for one shot, so instead of a relatively painless death by cryogenics, you get to
be mangled by my enormous phallic drill."
Doc: "Times like this I wish I had some easy way of calling in reinforcements...oh wait!"
POOM!
Doc: "HEELLLLLLP!"
Destro: "Pussy..."
WHAM!
Destro: "Ouch."
Doc: "Wow! Lucky we were carrying heavy, expensive new snowmobiles
in our big-ass transport plane overhead. Speaking of things above,
I wonder how Snow Job's doing?"
Snow Serpent: "Hey, check out this frying pan! I knew looting the opposite perch
would be a good idea!"
Ice-Viper: "Check it out - an ACTUAL sniper rifle! Now the Non-Sniper Sniper Squad is
really a Sniper Squad!"
Snow Job: "Dammit...if someone had just...sent up a pair of pliers...I could fix my spine...
pwn these guys..."
THE END???
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