The Wii U: Thoughts in Advance

At this point, saying I'm a bit excited about the impending (hurry up next month!) launch of Nintendo's next home console is a pretty big understatement, and anyone who knows me and my gaming habits will find that only slightly less surprising than the facts that, yes, I've pre-ordered one, and no, I haven't even started to plan out my big purchases in advance to make sure I'll have the money for it.  :P

Even so, I feel like I should try to put some of my thoughts regarding the system, its games and the ramifications of its existence down here for posterity, if nothing else to prove my fanboy credentials.

Now Playing: DEAD OR ALIVE 5

"3...2...1...Strike a pose, everybody!"

Released October 2012.

Published by Tecmo Koei.

Developed by Team Ninja.

Version played: PlayStation 3.

Fighting games seem to have seasons, I've noticed.  You can go for 3 years with not a single new arrival outside of small-time indies on Steam and other such services, until all of a sudden a whole bunch of them arrive, practically tripping over each other's over-muscled bodies in their attempt to sweet-talk you with their expanded rosters, shinier graphics and thoughtful tutorial mode for stupid people.  So while Team Ninja can talk all they like about an organic process of growth over the many years that Dead or Alive was dormant leading up to its well-plotted-out reappearance, the fact that it's riding in on the coattails of Tekken Tag Tournament 2's worldwide hype train - which itself rose from the shadows cast by Street Fighter X Tekken - seems a little too convenient to be coincidence.  Still, there's no rule saying we can't have more than one solid fighter to choose from at any given time, so I was more than ready to welcome a return to the DOAverse.  And having been wearing my thumbs down with it for a week or so now, it's time to take a more in-depth look under its shirt.  I mean, boobs.  Bonnet, dammit!

Minimate Nina: Customisation Gallery 1

One of the joys of Minimates that I'm only beginning to tap into is their uniform nature and simple construction; with every figure sharing largely the same body, held together the same way, and none of it glued or bolted in place, it's both easy and fun to mix and match parts across multiple figures, winding up with neat custom replacements for characters not yet created by Art Asylum - or, if you're anything like me, a load of abject nonsense.

Today, it occurred to me how much this reminded me of the character customisation features in the more recent Tekken games - which means it's time for more Nina love!

Starting off with one assembled purely from the Street Fighter X Tekken first wave, it's Boxing Nina!  Or maybe Kickboxing Nina, I don't know:

Parts used: Nina's head and hair, Poison's torso and arms, Steve Fox' gloves/hands,

and Sagat's hips and legs.

More after the jump!

Film Reaction: RESIDENT EVIL RETRIBUTION

WEARING.  TOO MANY.  GODDAMN.  BUCKLES.

It took me a while to decide whether or not there was much point in doing a write-up of my experience watching Retribution, the latest in what is still, mind-bogglingly enough, the most successful videogame-to-film series of all time.  This is mainly due to fatigue with the series and the attitude of its architects - every time  a new film comes out, professional critics and simple fans alike express in many cases the same grievances, and every time series overseer Paul W.S. Anderson politely sticks his fingers in his ears, smiling mildly at the okay box office returns which more than double whatever the film cost to make.  Then it's back on the merry-go-round for another whirl, with the script blithely tying itself in knots to explain (or not explain) the absence of characters from the last film and sudden appearance of replacements.

That said, after leaving this blog to rot for far too long, I feel the need to continue my current activity levels, and while Retribution certainly fell into a few of the same pits as its predecessors, it also found new, hitherto-unknown ways to fail, too.  And who says innovation is dead?

WARNING:  SPOILERS FOLLOW.

Further Adventures of Minimate Nina, part one

What, you thought I was done?  We're done when I say we're done.  I didn't say we were done.

Minimate Nina Williams!

So my Street Fighter X Tekken Minimates finally arrived (or the first wave of them, anyway), and although the presence of plastic Lili on my shelf inflates my room's tramp factor by 300% I'm generally pleased with them.  Most importantly, though, wave 1 included Nina Williams, my first love in videogames and, along with Tricia Helfer, one of the two greatest women in history, constantly locked in battle over control of my soul. (I kid - they're not fighting, I don't want either of them getting hurt) Since this is a pretty special occasion, I shall be celebrating the only way I know how - with crappy pictures!  So here's Nina strutting her stuff and beating up some lesser blonde whose name I forget.

Wherefore Art Thou, Articulation?

(Pictures and post layout made over a year ago - somehow remembered about them this week and felt like putting this up anyway, even though it's a bit outdated now. - Craig)

Deadpool:  "Wade's house, bah-bum-bum, in the middle of Wade's street...dah-rah..."

Deadpool:  "Well, who do we got here now?  Hey folks, and welcome to what I hope'll be a regular guest-starring stint on this here blog!  Not that I really need any more guest-starring roles, I'm turning up in so much crap nowadays I can barely catch time for a Golden Girls masturba - umm, marathon at the weekends."