So, to start off our lingering glimpses at Hasbro's latest batch of pseudomilitary plastic men, let's give the spotlight to the G.I. Joe team's usual field leader - and walking epitome of the word 'vanilla' - Duke, in his supposed desert togs.
"I find I make a better first impression when I bring Mabel here along."
Hasbro can stick whatever environmental theme they want on this guy, but the bottom line is, if he had a specific subtitle amongst all recent Dukes, he'd be 'Nostalgic Duke'. With the tan vest, tidy flat-top hair and armoured vest on top, he brings up a lot of memories of the classic ARAH Duke...which means nothing to me, 'cause I wasn't a fan back then and don't greatly care for much of the 25th Anniversary releases. Still, he's got appeal beyond that...
Yes, distressed metal really does bring out the colour of his eyes.
And the near-psychopathic rage, too.
There's a lot of great detail work stuck into this guy's deceptively plain design. I love the unbuttoned, raised collar and the trace of a vest under it, the sleeves of his shirt are nicely wrinkled, his gloved hands have some smart detail added to bulk them up...but the real coolness comes from the armour, thanks largely to Hasbro adding a gunmetal drybrush layer over the dark blue base coat. It highlights the fact that, yes, this is ARMOUR, not just a fashion statement, and the fact it's all scuffed gives Duke the look of a guy who's seen his fair share of battles. The head sculpt isn't quite as cool as the previous 'Jungle Assault' Duke - whose headband did a great job of concealing how naff Duke's hair is - but it has the same look of grim determination about it.
"I'm just a SEXY BOY! Sing it with me, girls!"
Articulation remains up to the line's high standards, so you can, er...have him mimic Shawn Michaels, and all those other things real-life spec-ops soldiers do. (get shot?)
"Excuse me whilst I ponder existentially about my own shadow.
I'm told that chicks dig deep guys."
The detailing continues around the back, with a line of seams down the back of the collar and some nice pockets on Duke's arsecheeks. Bet he can't fit his wallet in 'em either.
"Game over, man! GAME OVER!"
If you're reading this blog, I doubt I need to confirm it to you, but yes, Duke's primary weapon is unmistakably the same sort of Pulse Rifle used by the overbearingly macho and generally useless Colonial Marines seen in Aliens. Marauder Inc. (whose products I may cover in a future post) do a pretty good custom job of the same weapon, but I think this one has them beat, with the nicely needle-like barrels, the chunkier top handle and the extra paint app which really makes the detailing 'pop'.
"Excuse me, folks, there's a geek behind the camera who needs his
stupid face ventilated."
Duke can hold the thing perfectly, too. I'm not sure exactly what factors allow for this - it's something Hasbro still haven't perfected - but I'm willing to bet that using a weapon with no long stock at the back helps a bunch.
The rifle also has a peg jutting out from one side, which does slightly ruin the look, but allows it to be stowed fairly simply on Duke's back...
Massive can of superglue just out of shot.
And before you say anything - the gun is upside-down here so Duke can just reach over his shoulder and pull it across with his finger already on the trigger, NOT because I'm a colossal moron. So there.
Which end is the front?
Next in Duke's gallery of death is this...I suppose 'bazooka' is as good a term as any. It doesn't resemble any particular weapon I've ever seen, and honestly, I'm not too fond of the design in general, mainly because it's hard to tell what it could possibly fire. Plus, the sculpting just doesn't shine through the black plastic as well as it does on the rifle.
"Fire in the hole!"
On the plus side, Duke can still hold it properly, with the curved part resting on his shoulder, one hand on the trigger and the other clutching the stabilising...er, thing. I'm not up to spec on my explosives-handling terminology. Sorry about that.
Oddly, the bazooka also has a hole in the side that can accomodate anything with the standard sort of peg that most Joe backpacks have. About the only thing I could think to do with it using the stuff in this set was this:
"And what the unholy buttfuck am I supposed to do with THIS?"
Yeah, that just looks ridiculous, doesn't it? I've tried inserting one of the pipes from Duke's backpack, but they just get in the way when he shoulders the weapon, so that can't be the right idea either. A real head-scratcher.
It's not spring-loaded, is it? *shudders*
And here is Duke's
piece de resistance, however you pronounce that. When I first saw prototype shots of this figure, I figured this would have some sort of action gimmick to it, especially since it seems to be where Hasbro spent most of the time and money when making the figure, but no, it doesn't. It's just a fairly outlandish weapons system made of multiple parts, that's supposed to...uhm...no idea. Duke's filecard mentions a 'plasma cannon', so I'm going to assume that's what this is, even if I don't really get a plasma cannon vibe from it.
Anyone got any good pipe-related jokes? I'm out.
Whatever it is, it's a looker, with some thorough (but not cluttered) detail work across the surface, and the same distressed-blue paint scheme as Duke's armour. The leads at the back connecting the launchers to the backpack is a nice touch that renders the device a little less cartoonish, though obviously you still can't call it believable.
Now, my main point of confusion. The barrels at the front of the launchers - all eight of them - are detachable, like so...
I give myself all of ten more minutes before I lose some of these.
Judging by that, part of me reckons this is supposed to be a missile launcher, especially with the different paint scheme on the detachable bits...but they don't look all that much like missiles, especially with the 'holes' sculpted on the front of the barrels. So why bother making them removable in the first place? Argh.
"It's only overkill when you smell your own hair burning."
At least Duke can hold the thing and still stand up, which is a minor miracle. There's no handgrips on the launcher, but you really need to get Duke to support them with his arms, otherwise they droop down and aim at the floor.
I'm sure some of the pre-release photos also showed the launchers swinging back and straight down across Duke's back...
"Up, up and awaaaaaaay!"
Good news, it works, and looks pretty good. Bad news, you need to take off the power leads first. Never like it when you need to take bits off a figure before it can do stuff like this...
"Just try it, ya big brown lump!"
Two seconds later, Duke was a bright red smear.
So, all in all, what do I think of PoC Duke v2? I'm impressed. He's retro, but still gels with the overall modern Joe aesthetic. He's got some damn strange weapons, but he can hold them well. He's a character I've no interest in, but presented in an interesting way. I think I prefer the 'Jungle Assault' version - he's that bit more mean-looking - but this guy's still cool, and despite the tag on the box, isn't so chained to any one environment or purpose. He could believably operate in a city or forest as well as the desert, so he'll probably wind up being used more than his predecessor. Well done, then, Hasbro - you've once again made Duke, arguably the most boring Joe of them all, a must-buy for me again. *grumbles about Flint never getting such good treatment*
Final Score for 'Desert Battle' Duke: 9/10.
Oh, and one more oddity:
Ooh, look at you all fancy with the full name.
I know there's some sort of copyright faffing over Hasbro using the name 'Duke' on their toys, which is why the boxes always use his full name, but I've never seen it written as such on a display stand before - not on the 'Jungle Assault' Duke, or any of the Rise of Cobra Dukes, or even any 25th Anniversary Dukes to boot. Why the change now? It just looks weird and out of place...and I think they've done the same with Wave 4 Destro too. Aiieee!
