The Comic-Con 2014 TEKKEN Update Post

Behold the power of Unreal 4!

Old people have never looked more wrinkly!

So, it's Saturday the 26th as I type.  Namco-Bandai's had its panel at SDCC, and with it comes the biggerer, longerer, melodramaticerer Tekken 7 teaser and the first scraps of info regarding the game.  I debated whether they were meaningful enough to justify an entirely new post after covering the EVO trailer already, but then something else happened, and dear God I need to share it.  I need to.  To purge it.

Click through if your bowels are ready.

Thoughts on the TEKKEN 7 Announce Trailer

Om nom nom.

Well that took longer than it had any bloody right to.

But yes, for those who missed the news, on the last day of this year's EVO tourney, Katsuhiro Harada officially announced the next entry in the Tekken series, Tekken 7.  Yes, Tekken 7, not Tekken X Street Fighter, Tekken Square-Goals Virtua Fighter, Tekken Invites Battle Arena Toshinden to Come And Have A Go, or indeed Craig's Idealised and Completely Imaginary Tekken RPG.  (dang)  Even so, it's a new, full-fledged 'core' Tekken title, so maybe that'll be enough to shut up everyone who's been whinging about the devs spending too much effort on Revolution?

...no, of course not.  It's the internet.  But, while we wait for Comic-Con and hopefully some actual gameplay, here's my brilliant, senses-staggering insight into what this trailer tells me about the game.

GET READY FOR THE NEXT MISINFORMATION!!

Now Playing: TRANSFORMERS: RISE OF THE DARK SPARK

 lolwut

Developed by Edge of Reality.

Published by ActiVision.

Released late June 2014.

Formats: PS4, Xbox One, PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U, PC

Version played:  Wii U

So.  Another Transformers movie.  And y'know what, after sitting through 3 of them already and getting progressively more and more pissed off with each occurrence, to the point where I firmly declared Dark of the Moon had 'killed Optimus Prime forever', I'm not wasting time and money on a cinema visit (not when I can just skim the plot summary on Wikipedia and, yep, sounds horrid).  On the other hand, there's always games!  High Moon's War for Cybertron was a fun third-person blaster with a too-murky art style but a lot of charm under the hood, and its sequel Fall of Cybertron lost the co-op mode but compensated nicely by giving the characters more unique abilities, playing with bigger set-pieces and coming up with more inventive, varied environments.  I'd happily play a few more of those!

...that's not quite what I'm getting from Rise of the Dark Spark.

Toy Pictorial: The Nintendo Trinity

In this dark time of reduced articulation, shelf-warmers, novelty gimmicks that don't work and G.I. Joe not really doing anything despite being on an anniversary year, it's comforting to know that the Japanese specialist market is still churning out some gold, provided you've got the money.  Which is a needlessly grim way of saying I've got the leads of the 3 best Nintendo franchises (no I do not rank Kirby or Donkey Kong up there, thankyou) in posable figure form and I could not be more happy about it.

More pics after the jump.

Film Reaction Retro: PANDORUM (2009)

 I've been staring at this poster for 15 minutes and

I still don't know what the hell it's showing me.

Blergh.  I hate leaving this blog to rot for any length of time now.  Unfortunately, I'm thumping my head against a brick wall trying to put together anything clever toy-related, and the last two movies I saw in the cinema, while okay for the most part, just...look, you want my reaction to Godzilla?  'Ehhhh'.  That's my reaction.  And X-Men Days of the Future Past that are also Past Futures to the Future Past Future had some lovely moments though it still feels like a bungled step after First Class.  Both those points have been made better elsewhere, and I got beaten to the punch on most of 'em since both films opened in the States before Europe (which seems to be the less likely option these days).  And I'm still trying to think up something good to rant about in the gaming world after that Resi post, so...hmmm...

...I guess I don't have to limit myself to new movies, do I?  Okay, so let's talk about a random sci-fi horror film that made basically no money.

Opinion Blog: Ranking the Resident Evils

 Class photo!  Everybody pout and brandish firearms!

This likely surprises no-one after the kicking I gave the last movie but I loooove Resident Evil.  Love love love it, through thick and thin, for almost as long as I've been gaming.  These are the places and monsters that creeped me out as a kid the way a Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees might have done for past generations, and I've been meaning to do more about the series on the blog for a while now.

So, while I'm in the midst of playing through all the games I've got laying around here again, I'm going to start by explaining where on the scale of...goodness?...each individual game stands, as not all Resis are created equal.

(Note: This post will strictly concern itself with the 'core' Resident Evil titles, ignoring rail shooters, mobile games, Gaiden and the various online-focused multiplayer games.)

Film Reaction: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

 It's weird that this film has so many posters,

yet none of them feel like 'THE' poster, y'know?

The Amazing Spider-Man was a dull, routine, soulless cash-grab, a mercenary movie built purely to retain publishing rights to its title character, devoid of any artistic spark for fear of individual creativity somehow getting in the way of franchise longevity.  I hated it like fire, and in the same year that gave us The Dark Knight Rises it somehow made Nolan's nadir look good by comparison.  Unfortunately, ol' Web-Head is too popular to die, so the thing still made money, and now the same creative team are back for round 2, with the 'help' of two of the men who inflicted Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Star Trek Into Darkness upon us.

Look on the bright side, though: with that all in mind, who's gonna go into this one with hopes high enough to be savagely dashed upon the rocks of reality?  Forewarned is forearmed.