Opinion Blog: Ranking the Resident Evils

 Class photo!  Everybody pout and brandish firearms!

This likely surprises no-one after the kicking I gave the last movie but I loooove Resident Evil.  Love love love it, through thick and thin, for almost as long as I've been gaming.  These are the places and monsters that creeped me out as a kid the way a Freddy Krueger or Jason Voorhees might have done for past generations, and I've been meaning to do more about the series on the blog for a while now.

So, while I'm in the midst of playing through all the games I've got laying around here again, I'm going to start by explaining where on the scale of...goodness?...each individual game stands, as not all Resis are created equal.

(Note: This post will strictly concern itself with the 'core' Resident Evil titles, ignoring rail shooters, mobile games, Gaiden and the various online-focused multiplayer games.)

Film Reaction: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2

 It's weird that this film has so many posters,

yet none of them feel like 'THE' poster, y'know?

The Amazing Spider-Man was a dull, routine, soulless cash-grab, a mercenary movie built purely to retain publishing rights to its title character, devoid of any artistic spark for fear of individual creativity somehow getting in the way of franchise longevity.  I hated it like fire, and in the same year that gave us The Dark Knight Rises it somehow made Nolan's nadir look good by comparison.  Unfortunately, ol' Web-Head is too popular to die, so the thing still made money, and now the same creative team are back for round 2, with the 'help' of two of the men who inflicted Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Star Trek Into Darkness upon us.

Look on the bright side, though: with that all in mind, who's gonna go into this one with hopes high enough to be savagely dashed upon the rocks of reality?  Forewarned is forearmed.

Film Reaction: CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

 Never judge a film by its poster.

Or at least don't judge this film by this poster 'cause this poster's very bleh.

One of the more interesting points on the business side of this whole 'Marvel Cinematic Universe' shebang is how The Avengers' success impacts the subsequent films; does co-starring in the big climactic team-up increase awareness and box-office muscle appreciably for the non-Iron Man heroes?  I'd imagine that's something Marvel Studios are banking on.  While I consider Captain America: The First Avenger to be a great film - in fact, it's almost a perfect film, insofar as it's the best possible movie that could be made out of both Cap's origin story and his delivery into the modern world - it only did okay at the box office for one reason or another, not much more or less than The Incredible Hulk (which you'll notice has yet to have a sequel mentioned).

Judging from what I've read, this paid off with Thor: The Dark World, which comfortably outgrossed its predecessor even after opening in the tail end of Autumn.  So will the same hold true for The Winter Soldier, which with Black Widow in a featured role and much SHIELD shenanigans is doubling down on residual Avengers love?

I certainly hope so, because once again the Sentinel of Liberty has delivered a hell of a movie.

Toy Review: G.I. Joe Kre-Ons Wave 2

 Dreadnoks: not liking dogs since that time Buzzer

tried murdering one with a chainsaw.

While the 'main' Joe toyline has limped from the shambolic release pattern of the Retaliation figures into a big ol' deadzone, the chaps behind the licensed Kre-O building block series have been busy bees.  I've already professed my love for these babies despite their not being any easier to get hold of in the UK than their big brothers, and now I at last got the chance to snap up all 12 of the wave-2 blind bagged figures (just as waves 3 and 4 were announced...whee!).  So let's run them down, good guys first...

Comic Musing: SUPERMAN/WONDER WOMAN, BLACK WIDOW & Others

Really wish DC would have some sort of cover bar

so that these all look like a matching set.

It's certainly been long enough since my last rambling comic review post, and I haven't exactly been letting my reading slip since then, so there's more than a few books I'd like to talk about.  For the sake of keeping things brief, I'll stick with four for now.  Firstly, my muddled thoughts regarding DC's divisive Superman/Wonder Woman series, which has just released its fifth issue this month, and then some looks at three of the new start-up series from the All-New Minty Fresh Marvel NOW! initiative, namely Black Widow, X-Force and Ms. Marvel.

WARNING:  The following post discusses - and contain spoilers for - issues 1-5 of Superman/Wonder Woman, issues 1-3 of Black Widow and issue 1 of both X-Force and Ms. Marvel.  Turn back now if you're sensitive, y'big wuss.

Time Capsule: The Matt Smith Era, Part 2

 Girl meets Boy meets Weird Disco Hall meets SPAAAACE

And back to Who.  When we left off, the Doctor and Amy had escaped from the Weeping Angels in the Maze of the Dead, and realized that the crack in time wasn't just a one-off; now it's time to get Amy 'sorted out' for her suddenly very important wedding day, which means big fish, lizard people and a flat that shouldn't exist.  Geronimo!

Opinion Blog: Ranking the Tekken Fighters from Worst to Best

Does this look comprehensive to you?

Trust me - it ain't.

Ladies and gentlemen, all is quiet here at the Pillar of Justice.  The recent run of interesting game releases has dried up, in favour of the first few sad spurts of the next gen dribbling out onto the arid desert of consumer apathy.  The local multiplexes are full of those Oscar-baiting dramas that look more like the kind of thing you'd watch on DVD later (then never do).  And your humble host's comics reading has been so scrambled and scattered of late it's difficult to single out any one series for a thorough write-up, though I'm hoping to fix that soon.

But in the meantime, howabout an exhaustive and in-no-way definitive listing of every Tekken character ordered according to the relative merits of my personal favour?  No?  Well, tough, I had to Google all these images and cut half of 'em down for size, and after all that I'm gonna use them for something whether you like it or not.

GET READY FOR THE NEXT PRATTLE!